Requiescat
The Graveyard
Products that earned a verdict under 4.0. Every one of them was an affiliate opportunity I walked away from — because if the Graveyard didn't exist, nothing in the review section would mean anything.
A record, not a ranking · Last buried: Awaiting first burial
There are two kinds of product reviewers on the internet. The ones who publish negative reviews, and the ones who don't. The ones who don't will tell you it's because they "only review products they can recommend" — which sounds responsible until you notice that the ones they recommend are always the ones paying the highest commission.
This page is the proof that I'm the other kind. Every product below was tested in full. Every one of them was, at the time I tested it, on an affiliate program I could have joined, or already on one I was a member of. Every one of them got a review that cost me money instead of making me money.
I'm not proud of burying these products. I'm proud that this page exists.
— Jeff
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Products
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Times I said no to the commission
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AWAITING FIRST BURIAL
The ground is still fresh.
No products have been buried here yet. That's not a claim about the products I've tested — it's a statement about the number of reviews that have been finalized to the point of publication. When the first verdict lands below 4.0, its post-mortem will live here permanently.
Every site is this empty at the start. Most never fill it.
The first burial will come. They always do. When it does, the entry below will be the oldest one on the page — the founding stone of the Graveyard.
What's not here.
Products I reviewed negatively but didn't bury. Scoring a 5.2 doesn't put a product in the Graveyard — a 5.2 is "skip this, but the next person to try it won't regret it catastrophically." The Graveyard is for the products I'd warn a family member away from, not just the ones I wouldn't buy myself. The cutoff is 4.0, and it's deliberate.
Products I never tested because they disqualified themselves before testing. The list of those criteria lives at /editorial-standards, Section 2. An unreviewed product is not a buried product.
Products from companies that sent cease-and-desist letters asking me to take down the review. The letter doesn't change the review and it doesn't remove the burial. If anything, it gets a footnote.
The Counterweight
Read the reviews that earned their keep.
The Graveyard exists so the recommendations have weight. Read the products that survived the process.